Sanity Snapped
by Lauren Wagner
Summary: What if Excalibur was never formed?
1. Default Chapter

"How long has he been like this?"  
  
"For over a year now."  
  
"But how did it start?"  
  
"When he saw Rachel again after defeating TechNet and the Wolves. He and Rachel had wanted to make another crime fighting force called Excalibur to carry on Xavier's dream about co-existence for Mutants and Humans, but Captain Britain, Kitty, and Meggan didn't want to do it, leaving the two alone. Finally, Rachel left him alone on Muir Island with no one but Moira for company and nothing to do but think about the past.  
  
"The doctors think that the second loss of family made his mind snap, and that's why he's like this."  
  
"We should have left a message or something with him and Kitty. Maybe this wouldn't have happened then."  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Logan. You couldn't have known that Kurt would go insane from the two sudden losses." Ororo said, resting a hand on his shoulder. They stood in front of a two-way mirror, looking at the pitiful creature inside that crouched in the corner of the room, writing on the wall with a red crayon that wouldn't last much longer.  
  
"Couldn't Chuck do something about this?" Logan asked. "Like go into his mind and bring back his sanity or something like that?" Ororo shook her head sadly, tilting her head to one side.  
  
"I asked him the same question when I found out about this." She said. "Charles said that if he tried that, he would risk wiping out some of his memories, or end up just killing him or making his condition worse than it is now."  
  
"Worse? What can be worse than what he's going through now?" Logan demanded, indicating Kurt as he howled and slashed at the padded walls when his crayon finally snapped and became useless to him.  
  
"He could become a vegetable." Ororo explained. "Or nothing but a gibberish creature that drooled and pissed on itself; forever needing someone's help with everything he wanted to do." Sighing, Logan shook his head a bit, unable to understand this.  
  
"Can I at least go in and visit him?" he asked, raising his eyebrows slightly. Ororo shrugged slightly, checking a clipboard of Kurt's medicine schedule.  
  
"Rogue visited him yesterday, and he clawed her across the face when she got too close to him. She has three scars now from it." She said. "But you can give it a try." She added with a shrug. "He might be able to recognize you since you two were such close friends and all." Nodding, Logan slowly walked up to the door and he unlocked it, taking a new box of crayons with him before he shut the door.  
  
Kurt was wailing in Rom and German as he continued to slash his message on the wall he was facing, his tail lashing his back as if it was a whip, leaving large welts on it that bled when he struck them over and over again. A few times he clawed at the collar around his neck, which was needed to stop him from teleporting away from the hospital and getting lost in the outside world where he would most likely last only five minutes at the most.  
  
The message he kept writing on the walls was; [i]Gone. All of them dead and gone![/i] The ones written in crayon looked jagged and childlike, and the ones he wrote with his claws looked like something Stephen King would put in his latest book or something.  
  
Logan sighed softly, shaking his head a bit as he slowly took a few steps forward, using the same tactics that he would use if he were walking up to a scared and injured predator that could easily rip him apart.  
  
"Kurt?" he whispered. Kurt stopped slashing his message into the walls, but he continued to wail and whip himself with his tail, rocking back and forth as he did so. "Kurt, it's me."  
  
"All dead and gone." Kurt whimpered in English. "All of them."  
  
"We're not dead, Kurt." Logan tried uselessly. "It's me, Logan remember?"  
  
"Wolverine wasn't supposed to die." Kurt snarled suddenly, whipping himself harder and drawing more blood. "He could heal himself and live on forever and ever if he wanted to!"  
  
"I'm right here, Elf."  
  
Kurt whirled around, and Logan suddenly thought that he had made a big mistake by coming in here.  
  
He had taken to clawing at his face for a while, until the doctors had finally put a stop to that by giving him tons of medication when he started to show any of the warning signs that he would try it again. His cheeks and brow were covered in horrible and jagged slash wounds, all of them milky white under his fur. Just under his eyes, there were two long and deep slash wounds from him dragging his claws as deeply as he could into his flesh during a sudden bout of misery and terror.  
  
His hair was wild, a few patches torn out when the nightmares became too intense for him to handle. The rest of it was filthy from not being washed, and large clumps stuck together with sweat and filth. When the doctors really wanted him to take a bath and wash his hair, they were forced to bind his hands and feet tightly to do so.  
  
His arms were bandaged up tightly from the elbows down, due to the bites he constantly gave himself, and the times when he would scratch and claw at his arms until they bled heavily. His legs were in the same condition; bandaged from the knees down.  
  
He was not eating well, and the bones in his face were becoming more and more visible because of this. The doctors were sometimes forced to hold him down and force his mouth open to feed him something. This made him hate them even more, and he sometimes lashed out and attacked them before they could restrain him and force-feed him once more.  
  
Baring his fangs at Logan, Kurt hissed, lashing his back a few more times before he stopped and went back to just staring at the wall, trying to find an empty space to write his message again.  
  
"Go away!" he snarled, sensing that Logan was still there. "I don't know you! I hate you!"  
  
"Elf..."  
  
"I'm not an Elf!" Kurt raged, getting to his feet suddenly. He lunged at Logan and would have gouged out his eyes with his claws if Logan had not caught him by his wrists and held him off.  
  
"Stop it, Elf." Logan said. "You need to stop it!" Kurt suddenly whimpered, pulling at his trapped wrists.  
  
"Let me go." He begged, tears falling down his scarred cheeks. "In the name of God, let me go! I don't want to be beaten again!" When Logan let him go, Kurt fell in a heap on the floor, sobbing brokenly.  
  
"You couldn't do that to me if my friends were alive." He said. "They would have helped me get away from you. Wolverine would have killed you and made you sorry for hurting me like that!" he said, hugging himself tightly.  
  
Shaking his head, Logan crouched down and he reached out a hand to fix a wild tuft of hair that was hanging in front of Kurt's eyes. Kurt flinched away from his touch, hissing softly at him once more and baring his fangs at him angrily. Pulling his hand away, Logan sighed and shook his head once more, holding out the box of crayons as a kind of peace offering.  
  
"I'm a friend, Kurt." He said, figuring that Kurt would never believe that he was Logan ever again. "I brought these for you to write on the walls with if you wanted to." Kurt looked at the box suspiciously, narrowing his eyes a bit. He poked it with his tail, tilting his head to one side slightly as he looked back up at Logan.  
  
"It's all right." Logan assured him, opening the top to show him the crayons inside. "They're just crayons." Kurt instantly snatched them away, hissing at Logan before he ran on all fours to another corner of the room, pouring the crayons out of the box and poking them lightly with his tail, as if he could still remember how to count them.  
  
"I'm so sorry about this, Kurt." Logan said, looking at his friend sadly. "I can't believe this has happened to you." Kurt looked up at him, his tail curling up slightly like a snake's. He crouched in on himself, looking as if he was thinking about something.  
  
Finally, he uncurled from his position and he crawled up to where there was a large slash in the wall. Reaching inside, he took out a pile of papers and he crawled up to Logan, laying them at his feet like a peasant giving his king a special kind of gift. Crouching down on his haunches, he bowed his head, waiting to hear what Logan had to say about the papers.  
  
Cocking an eyebrow slightly, Logan sat down and he looked at the papers, laying them out one by one.  
  
They were drawings, each one a picture of one of the X-men. They looked like they were done by a child, but it was obvious which one was which member of the X-men. The one with red all around his head was obviously Scott, and the one that was a red bird was obviously Jean after she received the Phoenix. The black and white crayon had been used up completely when Kurt drew a picture of Ororo, her stick arms spread out wide as lightning streaked through the blue sky.  
  
The pictures continued on in this fashion, and Logan couldn't help the tears that welled up when he saw the last picture.  
  
Kurt had drawn himself, a simple blue stick figure with a tail, with an arm around the shoulders of a yellow and black figure with three claws poking out of his stick arms. It was obviously supposed to be him and Logan together and in their costumes.  
  
"I miss them." Looking up, Logan saw Kurt lying on his side, his head resting on his one hand as he looked at him drowsily. "I want to be with them, but the men with needles won't let me. They keep giving me bad candy to eat. The candy makes me sleepy and sad all the time. And sometimes... They stick me with needles that make me sleep for hours, and it makes me cry but they don't care. They hate me here."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that." Logan said softly. "But I don't think your friends would want you to join them just yet."  
  
"Why not?" Kurt asked. Logan raked his brain for some kind of good excuse.  
  
"Because they'd be sad if you kept hurting yourself like this just to be with them again. I used to know one of them too you see."  
  
"Which one?" Kurt asked.  
  
"The one called Wolverine." Logan said sadly.  
  
"He was my best friend." Kurt said dreamily. "He was my big brother."  
  
"I'm sure he was." Logan said, trying hard not to let his voice tremble. "And I'm also sure that he wouldn't like it if you killed yourself. He would want you to live your life and keep drawing these pictures."  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"I know so." Kurt was silent, his tail rising and falling slowly as he thought about this.  
  
"I won't hurt myself anymore." He said finally. "I want my brother Wolverine to be happy."  
  
"Oh I'm sure he's very happy to hear that."  
  
"I like you." Kurt said suddenly. "Who are you?" he asked. Looking around, Logan found a tattered blanket lying on the ground. Getting to his feet, he picked it up and laid it over Kurt gently.  
  
"My name is... It's Logan, Kurt." Logan said. Kurt nodded faintly, yawning a bit.  
  
"Logan... That's a nice name." He said dreamily. "Will you visit me tomorrow?" he asked, closing his eyes slowly. Logan nodded a bit, getting to his feet.  
  
"Yeah, I'll come visit you tomorrow, Kurt." He said. "I'll also bring you some more crayons, and maybe even sneak you in some chocolate." Kurt sighed softly, his tail curling up slightly.  
  
"That's nice..." he murmured. "Good night, Logan."  
  
"Good night, Kurt." 


	2. 2

The doctors had tried to confiscate the bag of chocolate Logan came in with the next day. They had said that the sugar would worsen his condition and make him uncontrollable and hyper by the time Logan left him with the doctors once more.  
  
Logan unsheathed his claws, and the doctors magically went away.  
  
When he entered Kurt's room, he found that he was looking at his back. Kurt was humming, rocking back and forth as he stared at the wall. It was one of the only untouched places in the room, and it served as Kurt's "happy place" when he was in one of his moods, or he thought that someone would be coming to pay him a visit of some kind.  
  
"Kurt?" Kurt turned around, looking at Logan uncertainly for a moment before he remembered him from yesterday. Smiling brightly, he lunged forward and hugged him around the waist tightly.  
  
"You came back!" he said, wagging his tail like a dog. Logan smiled, sitting down beside him and placing the candy bag behind him to hide it.  
  
"I said I would didn't I?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow slightly. Kurt nodded, tilting his head to one side when he noticed the bag.  
  
"What's that?" he asked, poking the bag with his tail. Smiling, Logan picked up the bag and hid the contents from Kurt.  
  
"Do you remember what I promised yesterday?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Try." Frowning, Kurt bit his bottom lip as he tried to remember. He hummed softly to himself, trying to remember what Logan had promised him before he went to sleep yesterday. Swaying slightly, he started to hit himself in the head with a fist, muttering angrily to himself in German for not remembering. Logan took a hold of his hand tightly.  
  
"None of that." He said sternly. Kurt bowed his head, tears falling down his cheeks silently. Sighing, Logan brushed his tears away gently. He placed the bag in Kurt's lap, showing him the contents.  
  
"I said I was going to bring some chocolate over." He said. Kurt's sadness was forgotten when he saw the brightly wrapped bars. He took one out and gave it to Logan before he took out one for himself. Before Logan could stop him, he took a bite out of the bar, wrapper and all.  
  
"Yuck!" Kurt spit it out, shaking his head violently. Chuckling softly, Logan took the wrapper off and showed Kurt how to eat it. Kurt laughed softly, getting chocolate all around his mouth in a matter of minutes.  
  
"We're going to have to work on your eating manners, Kurt." Logan laughed. He sobered up slowly, thinking about something. "Kurt? Would you like to leave this place sometime?"  
  
"Hmm?" Kurt raised his eyebrows, curling his tail up a bit.  
  
"Would you like to leave?" Logan repeated. Kurt smiled brightly and he nodded, clapping his hands together.  
  
"Yes!" he cried. "Oh yes! Can I go with you, Logan?" he asked. Logan wiped his hands on his pants as he stood up, smiling at Kurt.  
  
"I'll try to pull some strings for that to work." He said. "Hopefully you'll be able to leave with me soon enough." Kurt took hold of Logan's hand and rested the palm on his brow.  
  
"I like you." He said. "My brother Wolverine would have liked you too."  
  
Logan faced a lot of resistance to the idea of letting Kurt come back with him to the mansion; both from the doctors and the faculty from the school itself. Both sides pointed out the fact that Kurt still suffered severe depression and swift mood swings, and that they still weren't sure about all of the things that would set Kurt off into a bout of violence towards either himself or others.  
  
"We just can't risk that, Logan." Charles said, trying to calm the angry man down a bit. "It wouldn't be fair to Kurt or us if we took him out of the hospital prematurely."  
  
"He believes that we're all dead, Logan." Ororo added. "If we took him back to the mansion and people kept saying that we were alive over and over again, who knows what might happen to him from that sudden realization?"  
  
"But what if it turns out to be a good thing?" Logan countered, placing his hands on his hips. "What if taking him back to the mansion is exactly what Kurt needs to get back his sanity and memories of us?"  
  
"He does remember us, Logan. He just believes that we died in that explosion." Scott corrected. Logan growled softly, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"I can't believe this." He said. "None of you will take him back! After all the years he's been on the team with us, and you all just want to leave him in that damned hospital!"  
  
"It's the best place for him." Charles said.  
  
"He hates it there!"  
  
"Of course he does." Scott said. "Most inmates do when they have the problems Kurt does."  
  
"If you all refuse to take him out of there, at least tell the doctors to leave him alone. He hates them a lot."  
  
"Logan, we can't impose upon the men keeping Kurt alive."  
  
"They keep giving him medication and shots! Not to mention holding him down and forcing food down his throat."  
  
"Well maybe if Kurt would eat the food by himself they wouldn't need to force-feed him now would they?" Logan drew his claws and lunged forward, being held back by Piotr before he could stab Scott in the face.  
  
"Don't you dare blame Kurt for this!" he raged. "It's not his fault that Kitty and Rachel left him like that!"  
  
"Logan, Scott, both of you calm down." Charles said, slowly thinking of what to do. "I may have a solution that you both will like."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"If you do not want the doctors to give Kurt the medication and shots, then they won't. You will be Kurt's caretaker from now on at the hospital. When Kurt's mood swings become less frequent and violent, we will have another talk about letting him come and live with us at the mansion.  
  
"Is this satisfactory to both parties?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow slightly. Logan and Scott stared daggers at each other for a moment before Logan finally nodded his head a bit.  
  
"Yeah." He said. "I agree."  
  
"So do I."  
  
"Good. Then I suggest that we move on to the next assignment now, shall we?"  
  
Kurt looked up at Logan expectedly the next morning, sitting on his haunches and wagging his tail a bit.  
  
"Can I go?" he asked. When Logan shook his head, he frowned, his tail stopping slowly. "Why not?" he asked, tilting his head to one side.  
  
"Not for a while anyway." Logan said, sitting down. "We have to see if your mood swings and temper will get better first."  
  
"Who said that?" Kurt snapped, narrowing his eyes dangerously.  
  
"The man who's the head of the place where I live named Chuck." Logan explained slowly. "It doesn't mean that you can't come, you just have to control yourself first."  
  
"I can control myself just fine!" Kurt shouted, getting to his feet angrily. "I never lose my temper!"  
  
"Kurt..."  
  
"You just don't want to take me, Logan!" He said, hot tears falling down his cheeks as his fists trembled at his sides.  
  
"That's not it at all, Kurt. I wanted to take you out now but..."  
  
"Liar!" Kurt howled, his tail slashing the air. He pointed a trembling finger at Logan, tears continuing to fall down his cheeks. "Get out!"  
  
"Listen to me..."  
  
"Get out!"  
  
"Not until you let me finish."  
  
Kurt lunged at him so suddenly that Logan was thrown onto his back and he gave out a surprised shout when Kurt slashed his claws into his face and neck, screeching wildly at him. Blood splattered on the ground and a few times on the wall as the two rolled around; Kurt trying to kill Logan, and Logan healing and trying to get Kurt off of him.  
  
Finally, he was able to shove Kurt away, making him bang his head on the floor. Getting to his feet, Logan panted softly, the large and ugly slashes on his face healing slowly. Kurt lay where he had fallen, his body trembling violently.  
  
"Kurt..."  
  
"You hate me."  
  
"No, I..."  
  
"Go away!" Kurt curled up into a fetal position, covering his head with his arms. His tail thrashed about in agony as he sobbed. Logan just stood for a while, staring at his friend sadly before he finally turned around and left him alone.  
  
Slowly, Kurt uncurled himself and when he saw that he was alone, he narrowed his eyes and hissed softly. He charged at the door on all fours, slamming into it head first. His head started to bleed, but he ignored this as he banged his head into the door a few times, howling swears at the lying traitor Logan.  
  
When his rage against the door was finished, he started to rip and tear at the walls again, screeching and howling wildly as padding flew all over the place. His wounded head splattered blood everywhere, but his madness gave him the strength he needed to continue.  
  
Throwing himself to the ground, he started to slash at himself again, cutting deeply into his arms and legs once more with his claws, still screaming and howling wildly.  
  
The doctors came in a few minutes later, armed with their hated needles. Kurt snarled and pressed his back up against the corner, baring his fangs at them savagely. When they tried to stick him, he fought tooth and claw with them, wounding a few them very badly before one of the needles stuck him in the neck.  
  
Kurt staggered back, pulling the needle out of his neck slowly. Hissing, he crushed it in his hand and threw it to the ground, stomping on it with his foot. Looking up at the doctors, he slowly started to come towards them before he finally collapsed in a bloody heap on the floor, moaning softly.  
  
"I told you it wouldn't have worked." Scott told Logan when he heard what had happened.  
  
Even Charles didn't stop Logan from breaking Scott's nose and collarbone for that unnecessary remark. 


	3. 3

Logan didn't go back to the hospital for a long time. He felt that this was necessary, since Kurt had nearly killed himself from their last meeting together. He just stayed away, keeping tabs on Kurt through reports that the doctors sent to Charles weekly about Kurt and his condition's progress or lack of.  
  
Most of the reports said that Kurt was sobbing often, spending most of the time in his new cell in the corner, humming and rocking back and forth, silent tears falling unchecked down his cheeks.  
  
Charles told Logan that he shouldn't blame himself for what had happened, but Logan just couldn't help himself about this. He blamed himself for telling Kurt about leaving the hospital, which brought his hopes up too high in the end.  
  
"I think you should go and visit him." Hank said one morning over a cup of coffee. Logan snorted softly, shaking his head a bit.  
  
"What makes you say that?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. Hank shrugged a bit, turning the page of his newspaper lazily to read "Boondocks".  
  
"You and Kurt shared some kind of connection in the past." He said. "A connection that is almost brother to brother in nature; kind of like Alex and Scott's relationship with each other.  
  
"He may have gone into a rampage the last time you met him, but his memories about more present things are not very long anymore. He can barely remember what he did the day before, and he always does the same thing anyway! So it is quite possible that he does not even remember you or the incident in question anyway.  
  
"Go and visit him, Logan. I think it will do both you and him a world of good." He finished.  
  
Logan thought about it for a long time, a week to be exact. At the end of the week, he finally came to the decision that he [i]would[/i] go to the hospital and visit Kurt one more time, just to see if there was still a chance with him.  
  
When Logan slowly entered Kurt's new room, he found that it was once again covered in messages scrawled in crayon. This time, the message was; [i]I'm sad[/i] over and over again. Logan winced at this, and when he saw Kurt, he winced even more and silently cursed at himself.  
  
The doctors didn't want to put Kurt in a straight jacket, for fear that the sudden restrictions would drive him to smashing his head against the floor and doors once more. So, they simply bound his hands with a soft yet strong rope that stopped him from suddenly lashing out and slashing at himself or others quite so quickly as he used to when they were free. They also had his arms and legs bandaged more tightly, to stop him from slashing into them again, and also to stop the massive bleedings that had occurred after the big breakdown with Logan.  
  
He was staring at his new "happy place", humming faintly to himself as his tail thumped the ground lazily to keep up the tempo of his humming. Despite the fact that he was in his "happy place" and he was humming, tears were falling endlessly, leaving the fur under his eyes, sticky and slightly hard.  
  
He turned his head slowly, and a line of drool fell from the corner of his mouth as he looked at Logan and continued to hum. He was moving very slowly and Logan guessed that Kurt had been heavily sedated before he came by to see him. Frowning, he made a mental note never to call ahead of time when he wanted to visit Kurt. There was no way that he was going to accept them drugging him up like this every time he came to see how he was doing.  
  
"Hey." He said softly. "Do you know what my name is?" Kurt shook his head, a line of watery snot falling down lazily onto his upper lip. Logan took out a handkerchief and he gently wiped away the snot and tears from Kurt's face. Kurt tilted his head slightly and he looked at Logan curiously, his eyes slowly growing wide for some reason. Slowly, he reached out and gently took Logan's hand, rubbing between his knuckles slowly.  
  
"What are you doing?" Logan asked gently. Kurt continued to rub, opening his mouth slowly to speak.  
  
"Sni..." he whispered, his voice watery from the drool as it fell down the corners of his mouth.  
  
"What?" Kurt looked up at Logan slowly and tugged on his hand lightly.  
  
"You... Go... Snic..." he insisted. Slowly, Logan realized what he was saying.  
  
"Snickt. My claws go snickt!" he said. He let them out slowly and Kurt smiled faintly. The medication soon kicked in, and he laid back, his eyes half-closed.  
  
"Sni..." he agreed drowsily. Slowly, he smiled at Logan and he fell asleep with his head on Logan's shoulder. Logan smiled, gently laying him on his side before he left him.  
  
The next day, Logan came back with the pictures Kurt had given him. Kurt was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Sitting up slowly, he looked at Logan and he gestured at his hands.  
  
"Snic!" he said. Nodding, Logan let his claws out and sunk them back in before he sat down in front of Kurt.  
  
"You drew these, Kurt." He said, placing them in front of him one by one. "A few months ago you made these pictures of your friends and yourself." Kurt looked down at them, poking them lightly with his finger.  
  
"I do these?" he asked, looking up at Logan in wonder. When Logan nodded, he raised his eyebrows slightly and looked back down at the pictures. "I not do these! Snic tell fibs!" he said, wagging his tail at Logan sternly.  
  
"I'm not telling fibs." Logan said. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he took out a box of crayons and a pad of paper. "Try."  
  
"Can't."  
  
"Don't be afraid."  
  
"No, can't." Kurt said as he held up his bond hands in front of Logan's face.  
  
"Oh right." Logan said. "I forgot about those." Unsheathing his claws, Logan was about to unbind Kurt's hands when the door swung open.  
  
"No! No stings!" Kurt shrieked, running on all fours into the corner of the room. "No stings from bad men!" The two doctors frowned over at Kurt before they turned to Logan.  
  
"He needs to be sedated." One of them said. "He's dangerous in this condition."  
  
"He's not dangerous." Logan protested. "We were both doing fine before you two busted in here with those damned needles of yours! Get out of here."  
  
"You forget yourself; this is [i]our[/i] institution." The other doctor pointed out. "You don't give the orders around here and besides, his mood swings have not improved and you don't know if he'll snap or not."  
  
"You're not sedating him again." Logan said, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"Your professor has given us permission to treat your friend as we see fit and we see fit that he be sedated when he has visitors to limit the chances of him going berserk and gouging someone's eyes out." The first doctor said calmly. "Now step aside or get out of here."  
  
"You don't give a shit about him! You're just as happy sticking him with those drugs than letting someone who cares about him handle him." Logan shouted angrily. "Look at him! He's terrified of you people! What the hell have you been doing to him to make him so afraid of you people?"  
  
"Snic..." Kurt whimpered softly, covering his head with his arms. "Snic make them go 'way. I scared, Snic."  
  
"I will, Kurt. Don't you worry about that!" Logan assured him over his shoulder. Turning back to the doctors, he unsheathed both sets of his claws and he slashed them against each other, making sparks fly. "What do you say? You want to leave on your own or do I have to throw you out bit by bit?" he asked.  
  
"You will never be allowed to come here again." The second doctor said, narrowing his eyes dangerously.  
  
"I'd like to see you stop me." Logan spat back. Without a word, the two doctors left them.  
  
"Snic sent bad men 'way!" Kurt smiled, hugging Logan's leg faintly. Crouching down, Logan unbound his hands and helped him get to his feet, picking up the papers and crayons and putting them away.  
  
"Come on, Kurt." He said, taking him by the hand. "You're coming to live with me for a while." Giggling softly, Kurt skipped beside Logan as he led him to his car and helped him put on his seatbelt.  
  
Ignoring the protesting doctors as they ran up to try and stop them; Logan hit the gas and left them in a cloud of black smoke.  
  
Sometimes, Charles wondered what the hell he was thinking when he went to Canada and asked Wolverine to join his new X-men. The man was headstrong and quite impulsive which came into light now when he received tons of calls from the hospital, telling him that Logan had just walked in and taken Kurt with him to some other place.  
  
This was five weeks ago, and he still wasn't sure where Logan had gone with Kurt.  
  
He didn't want to search for him mentally or with Cerebro, guessing that the man would notice and then change where he was, making him much more difficult to find in the long scheme of things, so he just sent out the other faculty members when they could be spared to go and look for Logan and Kurt. They looked where they used to hang around before everything had gone to hell.  
  
So far, they had no idea where they were.  
  
Logan had a cabin in the woods that was well hidden from the rest of the world. It was there that he and Kurt lived together, working on Kurt's condition.  
  
There were a few bumps on the way, concerning Kurt and his mood swings that seemed to change along with the wind. On several occasions Logan was forced to tie him down to the bed and let him howl and scream for a few hours before he finally calmed down and just burst into sobs, saying that everyone in the world hated him and wanted him dead.  
  
These happened the first four days that Kurt and Logan lived together, but Kurt soon learned that if he went berserk and tried to gouge out Logan's eyes about something, he would end up tied up and left alone. This made him work hard on restraining himself, and his violent outbursts were soon stopped with some tough love and patience.  
  
The next crisis for the two was Kurt's need to cut himself at some point for doing something wrong.  
  
On one such occasion, Kurt's tail had knocked over a pitcher of lemonade, making it shatter on the ground. Kurt was so distraught about this that he took a piece of glass from the mess and slashed himself across the cheek before Logan ran in and grabbed him by the wrist, taking the glass away and immediately cleaning up the wound, scolding Kurt lightly for doing such a thing to himself.  
  
This caused Kurt to burst into sobs once more, and it took Logan three hours to calm him down and distract him by giving him a new box of crayons to draw and color with instead.  
  
They were making some progress in Kurt's condition, and Logan soon used a system of rewards to make it better. When Kurt did not have any kind of mood swing that upset the balance of the day, he was given a brand new coloring book. When he was good for two days, he received one of those sixty-four different color crayon boxes. The rewards got bigger by the amount of days Kurt was good, and it soon was not necessary for Logan to give him any kind of reward for his behavior.  
  
Despite all of their progress, Kurt was still very much like a child, and his memories were still shot to hell when it came to more than a few days back. He talked like a child as well, sometimes reverting to Rom and German when his English got too complex for him to use.  
  
Finally, Logan felt that they were ready to go and live at the mansion once more. He told Kurt that this was his final reward for working so hard in his coloring book, and Kurt smiled and wagged his tail, hugging Logan around the neck tightly.  
  
Packing all of their things up in his car, Logan and Kurt drove back to the mansion.  
  
"That's Logan's car!"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Coming through the gates! It's Logan and Kurt! Come on!" Excitedly, Jubilee and Rogue raced down the stairs and ran out the front door just as Logan was helping Kurt get out of his seat belt.  
  
"Where have you been?" Jubilee asked, placing her hands on her hips. "We've been looking all over for you for a whole month! Those doctors have been going wild looking for Kurt you know."  
  
"He's not going back to live with them." Logan said simply as he handed Jubilee a few suitcases.  
  
"We know that." Rogue nodded, taking the rest of them easily. "The professor finally paid them off to make them look the other way with this whole thing."  
  
"What are in these things? Crayons and coloring books? What..."  
  
"They're mine." Kurt said. "I can color in the lines." He said seriously. Raising her eyebrows slightly, Jubilee looked over at Logan before she turned back to Kurt.  
  
"Oh yeah? Maybe you can show me when we get in the house." She said, smiling at him warmly.  
  
"That's not a house." Kurt said as they climbed the steps. "It's a mansion!"  
  
"So it is! Silly me." Jubilee said, shaking her head a bit in self- disgust. "I always seem to forget that! Thanks for correcting me."  
  
Kurt stayed in the den with Jubilee and Rogue, showing them how he could color in the lines of one of his many coloring books while Logan went to go and talk with Charles about this whole thing.  
  
"Now Chuck, I know you're mad..."  
  
"A little? Logan, you left without telling anyone where you were going! You could have harmed Kurt further with this little adventure of yours!" Charles cried.  
  
"But I didn't now did I?" Logan countered. "I even made him better. He doesn't have mood swings anymore, and there's no chance of him hurting himself or anyone else."  
  
"You did this all by yourself?"  
  
"And without those damned drugs too." Logan added, narrowing his eyes faintly at the memory of Kurt cringing at the sight of those needles. "It was all done with some tough love." Sighing softly, Charles shook his head, rolling his chair around his desk.  
  
"I can't deny that you've done good in regards to Kurt's health." He admitted. "But it was not a wise thing to just go off and not tell anyone where you were for so long either."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose so." Logan agreed. "I'll never do that again if it makes you happy." Charles couldn't help but chuckle softly at Logan's attitude towards things in this world.  
  
"Sometimes I wonder about you, Logan." He said simply. With that, he went down into the den to see how Kurt was doing.  
  
He was lying on his stomach, swinging his legs slightly back and forth in the air as he shared his many coloring books with some of the younger students that had come in to see the "new" person. They were all laughing and coloring with his crayons as they talked together about this and that.  
  
"Kurt? Can I talk to you?" Looking over his shoulder, Kurt froze for a moment when he saw Charles, but he finally got up and walked over, standing a few feet away from him.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"How are you feeling, Kurt?" Charles asked. Kurt looked down at the ground, scuffing the ground lightly with his foot.  
  
"Okay," He said softly. "Teacher..." Charles' eyes grew wide slightly when Kurt said this.  
  
"What did you call me?" he asked gently.  
  
"Teacher." Kurt said, looking up at him and blinking. "Is that bad?" he asked softly. Charles shook his head slowly, smiling faintly.  
  
"No, that's not bad." He said. "You can go back to coloring if you want to, Kurt." Smiling, Kurt ran back and started to color again, resuming his conversation with one of the students about which baby Loony Tune was the best.  
  
"Something the matter, Chuck?" Logan asked, lighting his first cigar in the longest time. Charles shook his head faintly, watching Kurt.  
  
"Do you remember what Kurt used to call me when you and he first joined the X-men?" he asked. Logan narrowed his eyes slightly in thought, and then shook his head.  
  
"No, I don't." he admitted. "What did he used to call you?"  
  
"He used to call me teacher." Charles said. "Just now, he called me teacher without knowing who I was. Did you ever tell him about me?"  
  
"Not really, no. Why?"  
  
"Think about it for a minute."  
  
"What are you..." Logan suddenly realized what Charles was saying, and he looked at Kurt in awe.  
  
"He remembers us, Logan. In his own childish way, he remembers! He remembers us and he knows that we're alive."  
  
Author's Note: Baby Sylvester rocks! 


	4. 4

Four weeks later, Kitty decided to pay the mansion a visit. She had been gone for a long time and because of this, she never heard about Kurt or his condition.  
  
This is why she was so surprised when she was met with an attitude akin to loathing when she entered the mansion. A few of them didn't even look at her when she said hello to them.  
  
Upset about this, Kitty went to ask Charles what was the matter with everyone.  
  
"It's like everyone hates me!" she cried.  
  
"That's because most of them do." Charles said, not wanting to sugar coat the situation. "They hate you for what you did to Kurt."  
  
"What I did to Kurt?" Kitty repeated. "What did I do to Kurt that would make everyone hate me so much?"  
  
"Do you remember what happened when Rachel suggested forming Excalibur?"  
  
"That's why everyone hates me? Because I didn't want to be in another team?" Kitty asked in confusion. Charles shook his head sadly.  
  
"He went mad."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Kurt."  
  
"What?!" Kitty cried. Charles spent two hours telling her everything that had happened to Kurt; right up to the point where Kurt started to call him teacher once more when he and Logan returned.  
  
"He's like a very young child now." Charles said. "He remembers us, but only in little ways." Kitty looked down at her feet sadly.  
  
"Can I visit him?" she asked. Charles shrugged a bit.  
  
"That depends." He said.  
  
"Depends on what?"  
  
"On whether or not Logan thinks you should, and whether Kurt wants to see you." Charles explained.  
  
"But you said that he can barely remember anything from the past." Kitty pointed out. Sighing, Charles reached into his desk for something.  
  
"Kurt used to have nightmares for the first few days he was here." He explained. "When we asked him what he dreamt about, he drew this in response. Charles handed Kitty a picture drawn in crayons, and she couldn't help but raise her eyebrows slightly in surprise.  
  
It was a picture of her, Brian, and Meggan. They were leaving a sad looking stick figure of Kurt and Rachel alone in the woods. Large puddles of tears surrounded the picture of Kurt. There were also large black clouds in the sky, pouring down rain and lightning on him.  
  
"He remembers three people leaving him when he wanted and needed them the most." Charles said softly. "He remembers you in this way, Kitty."  
  
Kurt was out on the patio, coloring a picture in his Teen Titans coloring book when he heard Logan loudly protesting about something. Cocking an eyebrow, he looked up and saw Logan yelling at teacher and a girl with chestnut colored hair.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, Kurt tilted his head to one side as he stared at the girl.  
  
"There's no way in hell that I'm letting that bitch come anywhere near Kurt!" Logan protested, narrowing his eyes dangerously.  
  
"Logan..." Kitty started.  
  
"Don't you even try it you stupid bitch." Logan snapped, placing his hands on his hips. "It's your fault that he's this way in the first place!"  
  
"I just want to talk to him." Kitty said. "Besides, How was I supposed to know that Kurt's mind would snap like that?" she demanded.  
  
"Why did you leave him alone on Muir Island? Were you tired of living with him or something?" Logan snapped. "You should have known that by doing that you would mess him up somehow!"  
  
"Well maybe if [i]you[/i] had left some kind of message for us to let us know that you weren't really dead, none of this would have happened in the first place, Logan!" Kitty shouted back in frustration.  
  
"Well maybe you should have..."  
  
"Kit-Kit." Closing his mouth, Logan looked over his shoulder, finding Kurt standing in the doorway, staring at Kitty as he hugged himself tightly. Slowly, Kurt walked up and he bent down slightly to look Kitty in the eyes, his tail starting to sway side to side lazily.  
  
"Kit-Kit." He repeated, poking her on the nose lightly with his tail. "Kit-Kit come to stay?" he asked, tilting his head to one side hopefully.  
  
"I..."  
  
"I want Kit-Kit to stay." Kurt said, looking at Logan pleadingly. "Kurt miss Kit-Kit a lot. Kit-Kit went 'way with Fairy and smelly muscle man long time ago." Kitty looked at Kurt quietly, trying to think of what to say in response to this.  
  
"Kit-Kit stay?" Kurt asked, turning back to her expectantly. "No go 'way again?" Fighting back tears, Kitty nodded faintly, smiling a bit at him.  
  
"I'll stay, Kurt." She said. "And I won't go away again either." Smiling, Kurt hugged Kitty tightly.  
  
"Kurt missed Kit-Kit." He said simply.  
  
Nothing else happened with Kurt and his condition; for good or bad. He remained with the mentality of a child, forgetting things that happened a week ago when they were not too important in the long scheme of things. The important things seemed to vanish into his mind, coming back up in the strangest of places.  
  
With Kitty back at the mansion, Kurt revealed that he remembered a little more about that day with TechNet and everything. Sometimes, the memories gave him nightmares that made him thrash around, but he would always forget them once he drew them out in crayon and gave them to Charles to keep safe.  
  
Kurt lived the rest of his life in peace; acting as the welcoming party for students that came to the school at a young age. He came their friend, and was often found outside running around on all fours with the students, laughing and playing with them.  
  
"In all honesty, I think Kurt is the lucky one." Charles once said to Ororo.  
  
"Lucky?" Ororo repeated. "How so?" she asked. Charles indicated the scene of Kurt dashing off with three students after him.  
  
"Most of us remember everything that has happened to us, and that includes all of the evil things." He said. "Kurt doesn't have that problem. He has only recent memories of all the good things that have happened to him. Plus, he has retained his childlike innocence for as long as he shall live.  
  
"Don't you think that that makes him one of the lucky ones?" he asked, turning to her with a smile. Narrowing her eyes slightly, Ororo slowly nodded as she smiled.  
  
"Yes, I think it does." She admitted at last.  
  
The End 


End file.
